Memories

this is how i memorise things
i stare at them
i read them
i watch them
i look at them
until the things i’m staring at must start to feel uncomfortable
or flattered
at the absolute volume of my attention that they receive

lately i’ve taken to keeping a mirror near me
when i’m at home
when i’m at work
or whenever
not out of vanity
but because the person behind that reflection
is changing so rapidly
and i don’t want to lose sight of myself
i study the curve of my lips
the colour of my eyes
i spend hours in focused meditation
on my own mole
so that i can
at the least
know what i look like when i’m doing things that
another me
would never imagine

or
so i know what i look like
when i’m around you

i have to memorise you too
so i ask and ask and ask the same questions
to make sure that i get every detail
just as i’ll read a poem a dozen times
and each time find something new
each time you tell me where you’re from
what you do
your name
i find something new

and eventually i’ll have enough of you
inside my memory
that i can look in the mirror
and see me
and see you
and not see any difference

Missed Connection #1

dear...
comma
i saw you
at the grocery store
not a super market
a grocery store
small
run by an old couple that moved here from pakistan
from india
from brazil
from vietnam
it mattered where but it
didn’t matter where
i saw you at the grocery store
holding a package of salt
holding a package of kosher salt
your hair was blond
i wanted to point out how
incongruous your hair colour was
to your choice of salt
but decided that it wouldn’t be pc
i saw you in the grocery store
your hair was blond
you were beautiful
and i didn’t say anything to you because
i was confused by your choice of salt
maybe i’m superficial
maybe i couldn’t see past your salt
to the real you who made eye contact with me
in the grocery store
which was as odd as your choice in salt because
really
who cruises in a grocery store?
you
your salt
and i
were locked in a
very brief moment
with me trying to work past my own salt
prejudices
and think of something to say
but prejudice takes longer then a
very brief moment
to be erased from the mind
prejudice is the kind of thing that persists
for generations and i hope that my own children dont share my salt prejudices because
you were beautiful
you are beautiful
so i’m posting this ad
on craigslist
hoping you’ll teach me about your culture
about people with blond hair
who buy kosher salt
in a grocery store

betrayed by a kiss

they say
a kiss on the lips is the sign of betrayal
i wonder
when Judas did his deed if he knew
he was condemning the next thousands of generations of lovers
to betrayal

your betrayal was one of the worst
but your kisses
were the sweetest

jigsaw poem

(http://poetswhoblog.blogspot.com/2008/07/jigsaw-poem-time.html)

choose me. choose this. choose you.
choose the right decanter. something that looks good on the table. you don't know what a decanter is for. doesn't matter. you know you're supposed to have one and it looks so damn good.

remember me when i was five years old. not carefree. because i think you have to know what that means to be it.
remember when flying was as easy as pretending you had wings and standing on a hill with the wind twisting through your hair. remember when fun was chasing someone, shouting their name and chasing them, catching them, then letting them chase you screaming the whole time.

taste this.
just taste this. feel it. taste is one of the most potent sensations. so taste this. taste this like the last thing an ant tasted before it died and became part of the amber was sweet. taste this. taste this life. because trees are more then timber and people are more then accomplishments.

West Coast Winds

i’ve thrown myself
into west coast winds
wet with sea smells and
the cries of white gulls

i know i will fly
i know this like i know the feel of my mother’s hand on my head
like i know the sound of my father’s voice
like i know the taste of clear clean water means Life
i trust this wind to carry me

if it doesn’t
then i welcome the warm embrace of the sand below
because sand is inclusive
it contains traces of every person that ever touched it and
it’s comforting to think that it has room to contain all of me

the sand
will lead me down to the sea
and there
i will gather together my disjointed dreams
this visions i have of my future
and bring them together for the first time
construct a sail from them
and
again
let the west coast wind take me

so in the sky
or in the sea
the west coast winds
will take me